


19 Years of Clouds

by TheCrazyWordLover



Series: In Which Jason and Tim become Best Friends [4]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Catherine Todd tried, Gen, Jack drake tried, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd is a good brother, Sasha Sloan references, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, they both get hugs, why is that not a tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22611892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCrazyWordLover/pseuds/TheCrazyWordLover
Summary: When Tim woke up, the first thing he felt was warmth. He stretched, eyes still closed. He had always been slow when it came to waking up. But the sun was warm at his toes, the wood underneath him following suit. Cue record scratch.
Relationships: Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: In Which Jason and Tim become Best Friends [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1559464
Comments: 30
Kudos: 318





	19 Years of Clouds

When Tim woke up, the first thing he felt was warmth. He stretched, eyes still closed. He had always been slow when it came to waking up. But the sun was warm at his toes, the wood underneath him following suit. Cue record scratch.

First of all, why was he sleeping?

Second of all, where was he sleeping?

And finally, what was that weight on his shoulder?

He stopped. Yesterday, he was on patrol. He remembered that much. He was...sitting on a rooftop? Yes, it was a rooftop, listening to Green Day through his earphones, and then Jason came, and then...oh no. 

Oh no.

He'd fallen asleep on Jason fricking Todd, aka the Red Hood. His face burned with embarrassment. Of all the times, of all the people, of all the p l a c e s. 

So, most likely, he was at the Manor, courtesy of Jason. 

He opened his eyes, squinting them at first to get used to the sunlight. To his left, was a bed. With sheets trailing from it. Which would probably explain why he was on the floor. He'd rolled over in his sleep again. 

He looked to his right. 

Blinked. 

Only barely suppressed his scream.

On his right was the one and only Jason Todd, looking at him with a quirked eyebrow, an arm lazily thrown over him. It seemed that he'd been awake a while. Only then did Tim realize he was holding onto something. He remembered vaguely about grabbing onto something last night. He looked down. Immediately regrets his every decision. God why was this his life?

"So, had a good night?"Jason asked, ruffling Tim's hair. Now Tim had a decision to make. He could either act like he wanted to move away immediately and pretend this never happened, or he could bask in his brother's half hug and all it's glory. 

Tim looked up at Jason, a shy smile on his lips. His cheeks were a shade of rosy that indicated he'd finally slept a good amount for the first time in Lord knew how long. He nodded, snuggling deeper into the blankets. He was more content than he'd been in a while at the manor. 

Jason chuckled, a sound Tim realized he'd been hearing more often from Jason. He looked up quizzically. Jason ruffled Tim's hair, making to get up. "Time to start the day Timmers." He stretched, a loud yawn following. Everything about the guy was loud, and Tim couldn't help but laugh. 

He wanted five more minutes, but Jason wasn't having any of it. He pretty much dragged Tim out of their makeshift bed, and when the younger went boneless, Jason threw him over his shoulders, making for the door. Any and all protests and kicks and punches were completely ignored. Besides, Jason thought, if he truly wanted to be put down, he wouldn't have been hitting so softly. 

Jason dropped Tim in the bathroom closest to their room. He grabbed them new toothbrushes and tossed it at Tim. Tim scowled, washing his brush, and wetting it before putting toothpaste over it, and he started to brush his teeth. Jason gasped. Tim looked up to find the older Red staring at him in shock and faux disgust. 

"What?" He asked, suddenly self conscious. His Superman shirt's neckline hung over one shoulder, and his hair was a royal mess. He always hated his morning hair. 

Somehow, Jason was fine with all of the other things. The thing that actually bothered him was, "You brush before flossing? That's disgusting."

Tim rolled his eyes, showing the brush back in his mouth. 

"No really man, absolutely gross."

Tim elbowed Jason in the gut, a reminder of the night before, and Jason raised his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying, you might as well not floss, it becomes pointless," Jason muttered. Tim merely shook his head, and continued doing as he was. 

Eventually, the two finished with their teeth, and Jason shoved Tim out to go grab a comb and go brush his hair. Yeah, Tim was most likely not going to do that unless Alfred asked him to. He needed coffee first, and until that happened, nothing else would.

He went back to his room, settling for going back to his apartment, when he heard the door. 

It was Jason. "Going back? You got some business stuff to deal with?"

Tim blinked. "Oh, uh no. I just wanted to get back home."

He didn't understand the several emotions that flashed across Jason's face for a fraction of a second. "Well I'm hungry. So you're coming with me." This time, Tim did kick harder as Jason threw him over his shoulders. 

Jason didn't put him down, even after he bit her tongue.

Only at the dining table did Jason unceremoniously toss Tim off, completely ignoring his yelp as well as a surprisingly well aimed kick to the knees. 

Surprisingly, Damian wasn't up. Usually, at least when Jason came to the manor (so once a blue moon), Damian was always the first at the breakfast table. Alfred greeted them from the kitchen, and two boys echoed their reply of, "'Morning Alfie." 

Tim waded to the coffee maker with his eyes half lidded. He'd been awake far too long without his precious caffeine. 

Jason watched Tim go through the motions, before something else took his attention. Damian walked in, dressed in his pajamas and fluffy slippers, talking about something or another with Bruce. Bruce. The same Bruce Alfred specifically said wasn't going to be home. He shot Alfred a betrayed looked, which the elderly man replied to with a surprised look back at him. 

Jason sighed. It was quite possible Alfred didn't know either. 

He thought about his choices. He couldn't very well run away. For one, Bruce would see him either way. And for the other, more pertinent issue, he wasn't going to leave Tim alone with something that drove him away from home. Tim's home at least. 

Bruce and Damian's conversation came to a halt abruptly. Tim's coffee stopped dripping. Alfred's eggs had stopped sizzling. 

A silence fell over the room as Bruce and Damian looked at Tim and Jason respectively. 

Bruce dipped his head in Jason's direction as if to try to be civil. Jason could almost laugh. But he didn't. His throat felt to dry to speak. He returned the gesture. 

Meanwhile, Damian kept his nose in the air, his pretentious air being multiplied by twenty. Tim just continued making his coffee, but Jason could see the way he deflated. How he hunched into himself. How it looked like he was trying way too much to show that he didn't care, which only gave out how much he did. 

It was subtle though, and it's only because Jason had been studying Tim's behavior more carefully that he caught on. 

"Drake," Damian said with disgust.

"Damian," Tim said with resignment.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's my house, brat, I can come when I want."

"It's my father's house. Not yours. Go cry at the cemetery or whatever you must, but know your place Drake."

Fireworks exploded. 

Or at least, Jason expected so. He couldn't see through that red that covered his vision. 

Bruce's quiet growl of "Damian-" was unheard due to Jason.

"Well at least your daddy picked him. You're only here, because of Talia and what she did, so shut the f*ck up."

He turned to Bruce, and saw Bruce's eyebrows raise at the heat directed at him, "And you, teach your f*cking son some f*cking manners." He yelled at both father and son for about ten minutes in total, before Alfred cleared his throat and subtly gestured Jason to go after Tim. 

Damian looked confused at the fact that Jason had the audacity to say that. Meanwhile, Bruce just pinched his eyebrows. While Jason meant well, he'd now have to rip out the seeds of doubt that Jason placed in his youngest's chest. Which would be a nightmare. 

Jason didn't care all the same, so long as Bruce did talk with Damian. If it was up to Jason, he'd have "talked" with Damian on the training mats.

"We aren't finished yet," he growled, before turning around and going in the direction Alfred had nodded towards. 

Tim's bedroom. 

Usually, he walked decently fast, especially compared to Tim. Even after everything, he hadn't been able to ditch that habit that was ingrained in him after Crime Alley. Besides, Tim had shorter legs than him. And Jason hadn't yelled for that long. So how was it that Tim had already beat Jason to his room.

Jason decided to ponder that later. At the moment, all that mattered was telling Tim he didn't deserve the demonspawn's bs. 

He raised his hand to knock at the door, before he stopped. With a sigh, he dropped his hands back by his shoulder. He pressed his forehead against the door. "I'm sorry about that Timbers..." he whispered, knowing Tim wouldn't be able to hear him. 

He knocked again, before poking his head in. 

"Tim?"

Said boy had his back turned to the door, not moving. Jason stepped inside, closing the door behind him. "Timmy?" He reached out to touch his shoulder.

"Since when did you call me anything but 'Replacement'?" Tim asked, voice void. Jason paused, feeling every urge to defend himself. But he realized that Tim's voice held no malice. Only curiosity. Like always. 

Jason spoke slowly, wondering it himself, "Because it was stupid. I was Dick's replacement first. And the Demon's yours. Since I realized how there's more to you than that. You mean more to me than that. And because you're Tim."

Tim huffed, emotionless. "You don't have to pretend Jason. It's not like I'll throw myself off a rooftop or anything."

"What are you talki-"

"When will you drop the act?" Tim asked, wheeling around. His eyes were red and watering but there were no tear tracks. At least not yet. In his hand, he clutched a photo frame, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that it was Jack Drake's picture. "I get it okay. You guys don't need me anymore, probably never did. I was only supposed to be here temporarily, either til you got back or Dick got back. And now Damian's in the picture. I should just leave. You don't have to bother pretending you don't hate me."

Jason just watched Tim, eyes inquisitive. He couldn't say he was shocked. He used to think the same. That he was the expendable piece. He tried so hard to fit to the other pieces, but in the end, he was the puzzle piece that wouldn't fit. Now he just didn't care. 

But Tim did. 

He cared so much. 

Too much. 

Jason's heart kind of hurt. 

"I used to think the same way as you," Jason said. "I thought I could never fill in the shoes of the great Golden Boy. And I don't think I ever did."

Tim made to interrupt him, but Jason waved him away. That wasn't the point he was trying to make. 

"And you know what, maybe I didn't do what was the best, but you know what? After so many mistakes, and everything that's happened, I'm here. And I got to know you. I'm not going to say 'dying was worth it for you'" he half chuckled, "because that's way cliche. But I do think that I was given a second chance to make amends with you. Because you're such a sweet boy, and ugh I feel like Dickie saying that," he paused for a moment to make a disgusted expression, before trudging on.

"You're so kind and forgiving and smart. Which is why I'm somewhat surprised that you think that I don't love you," he huffed. He shuffled towards Tim, spreading his arms.

Tim leaned slightly away, eyes and voice watery, "What are you doing?"

Jason scoffed. "What does it look like? i'm giving you a hug."

Tim snorted, rolling his eyes. "Yea, no I go that. But why?"

Jason wrapped his arms around Tim, tucking his chin over Tim's head. Tim felt tiny in his arms, but somehow, it felt right. 

Tim hesitated for a moment, before hugging back. For a moment, Jason forgot he didn't like hugs. He looked at the ceiling, wondering when that had changed for this case.

"I'm going to sing for you now," Jason said vindictively.

Tim merely raised an eyebrow, though Jason couldn't see it. The, "why?" he asked was muffled by Jason's hoodie. 

Eventually, Jason let go of Tim to sit on the bed. He patted the area beside him, looking up chipperly. Tim blinked. He sighed, before complying. 

Jason leaned on him slightly, clearing his throat slightly.

"I used to shut my door  
When my mother screamed in the kitchen,  
I'd turn the music on,  
Get high and try not to listen to every little fight  
Cuz neither one was right," 

Jason felt Tim stiffen beside him. Which was just about the expected reaction. The song hit too close to home for both of them. He put an arm around Tim, rubbing it over his arm. It was a very Dick thing to do, but from what Jason could tell, Tim hasn't seen that side of Dick in a very long time. At least not directed towards him. 

"I swore I'd never be like them.

But I was just a kid back then.  
The older I get,  
the more that I see  
My parents aren't heroes,   
They're just like me.  
If loving is hard

It don't always work.  
You just try your best

not to get hurt.

I used to be mad,   
but now I know  
sometimes it's better to let someone go,"

Jason had to close his eyes. It hurt. It hurt how he had gone through this once, and as stupid as it was, it hurt to see someone else go through it too. Tim hadn't moved at all, but Jason knew that Tim's eyes were teary, that they were closed, and that this hit Tim just as much as it did him. 

He stopped to clear his throat, ready to pick up where he left off. But a different voice did before he could start. Jason craned his neck, only so slightly to see Tim. He smiled, fond, yet sad. 

"I used to wonder why,  
Why they could never be happy,  
I used to close my eyes, and pray for a whole 'nother family  
Where everything was fine,   
one that felt like mine

I'd swore I'd never be like them."

Tim's voice cracked, 

"But I was just a kid back then."

And that's what it took for Tim to turn away and scrub furiously at his eyes, shoulders shaking. He had a hand over his mouth, trying to muffle the sobs. Jason heard them all the same. Slowly, he made to grab Tim's wrist, getting him to turn and face Jason. It took a hot second to put his arm around Tim's small frame, but he managed. 

He would have said it was awkward, if Jason really gave a damn at the moment. But he didn't. All he could have felt at the moment, was the way that Tim's silent cries didn't match his treatment. How he suppressed even the urge to let himself fall apart. How it hurt Jason more than it made sense when he saw Tim cry. 

Jason managed to rub slow circles on Tim's hoodie, Tim's head tucked under his chin.

Tim's grip on Jack's photo hadn't faded. He clutched it like he was going to fall off a cliff if he were to let go. 

Eventually, he calmed down just enough, to talk with out stuttering. His words were still thick with tears. "He tried J-Jason," he sniffed, "He tried so hard. Sure he wa-was bad at it, but he'd take me f-for i-ice-cream, and he tr-tried to talk to me. And I miss him so much," Tim's voice rose in pitch as they lost their volume. He hid his face in Jason's chest, shaking. 

"I know baby bird, I know," was all Jason could manage. 

She tried. He tried. 

A sentiment he knew all to well with Catherine. It was strange. How some people have more flaws than they do good points, and you somehow still love them just because they try. 

Jason wondered if Bruce loved him because he tried. He wondered if Bruce had ever loved him when he tried. 

Jason knew that Bruce loved Tim. He wondered why that asshole never made that much clear. 

"My mother, Catherine," Jason said, trying to get Tim's attention. Tim nodded against his chest, and Jason closed his eyes. "She was an alcoholic. She had severe depression and she was an addict. But she still loved me. She'd hold me close when she was feeling good enough. She'd sing to me. And she'd always apologize to me that I was stuck with her. But you know what Timmybird? I still loved her. And I still do. I miss her so much. I don't have that many photos of her and she was real pretty on good days. Do you want to see a picture of her Timmybird?"

Tim nodded, and Jason let go of him with one hand to reach for his wallet.

From it, he pulled out a tattered picture, and with the most love Tim's seen, Jason smoothed it out over his knee and handed it to Tim. 

Tim took it with just as much, if not more care. There was a beautiful women with bright ginger hair flowing down her side, head head titled slightly. She had beautiful green-blue eyes that resembled Jason's so much, Tim could have assumed that she was his bio-mom. A slight breeze blew her summer dress, the ribbon in her hair fluttering. Her arms were around a little boy with black hair and an excited smile. Jason. 

Jason had a distant smile on his face. "I don't think I've shown anyone that picture. But yeah, we went to the beach that day."

Tim couldn't even breathe at the picture. "Do you miss her?" Tim asked, so quietly, like he was afraid the break the fragile silence. 

"So much," Jason said, voice hoarse. Emotion usually drew out that Crime Alley accent he'd worked so hard to cover back when he went with Bruce to all the elite balls and galas. Back when he'd care.

Tim twisted around, not sure what else to do but give Jason a hug. 

For a moment, Jason didn't react, but eventually, he melted into the hug. Jason ducked his face in Tim's shoulder, and Tim clenched his finger's around the back of Jason's hoodie. 

"Listen, the Demon Brat's an self-righteous asshole like his beloved 'father' so, don't take it to heart."

Tim sniffled. "I know, it still hurts."

Jason's grip tightened. "The next time he says something, mark my words he will regret it," Jason said, pulling away from the hug. The wide pads of his thumbs brushed away the stray tears lining Tim's pale cheeks. He smiled, and it was just so pure, so beautiful, that Tim had to return it. It reminded him of a picture he took years ago. Raindroplets on grass strands after a shower, slightly blurred to bring into the focus the rainbow at the background. 

In a way, they were that picture. Except Tim was still waiting for his rainbow. 

But maybe, just maybe, the sun had started to peak out from behind 19 years of clouds.

**Author's Note:**

> the song is older by sasha sloan and it just sdkjghsadg. you cant tell me this song does not scream Jason and Tim. Like you just cant. 
> 
> also, wanna know what's hilarious? 
> 
> "My parents aren't heroes"  
> ......  
> Batman   
> Bruce Wayne  
> w e l p
> 
> anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed, sorry I haven't updated in so long. Feed my motivation with kudos, likes, dislikes, and what I could do better! Thanks for reading. :{)


End file.
